Cognitive dissonance…

I was recently talking to a friend of mine, who had been going through IVF, about her experiences, and she was talking about the cognitive dissonance that seems inherent in all this.

You might never have done IVF, and you might not call it cognitive dissonance, but if you’ve ever been a teenager, you’ll know what she’s on about.

Maybe it was just me (I assumed it was everyone) who, as a teenager,  Continue reading

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So you want to be a single mum…?

This is a really short post but I thought it was worth noting some of the advice that I’d been given by the great women that I wrote about in my last post.

One recommended a book called Choosing Single Motherhood which I started reading and then had to stop because it made me cry too much – partly because I realised that I am so NOT unique when it comes to all the things I’ve been worrying about, every single other woman who has thought about this has thought about exactly the same things. But also, partly, because I felt overwhelmed by it all at the time I was reading it, and the possibilities and problems and permutations just fucked with my head. So I stopped reading it but I will go back to it again as it does get rave reviews and I think I was just not really in the right frame of mind when I embarked upon it.

Both of them were also really positive about the Donor Conception Network, and specifically their Solo Mums section, and their workshops — which do sound really sensible and something I’ll definitely think about going to.

More useful info as it happens… Kind of.

It’s been a while…

Bloody months actually – I’m sorry. I never promised regular updates but even by my own  — pretty low — standards, it’s been an abysmally long time since I last posted.

I’d love to tell you that there’s a good reason for that; that I’ve been swept up in some torrid love affair (although, given that I just checked the spelling of “torrid” and found that synonyms include “hot, sweltering, sultry, scorching, boiling, parching, sizzling, roasting, blazing, burning, blistering, tropical, stifling, suffocating, oppressive; dry, arid, barren, parched, waterless, desert”, I’m not sure I’d really want a love affair like that) or that I’d made some momentous decision Continue reading

Solo motherhood

I think I’ve touched on this briefly before but, for fairly obvious reasons (ie. I’m still single) it’s something I’ve been thinking about more and more – the idea of attempting to have a child on my own should a suitable candidate not present themselves (and before you get all antsy, and accuse me of “interviewing sperm donors” rather than “dating potential boyfriends”, chill the fuck out, it’s a turn of phrase) (sorry, I might be a bit touchy about this because of the douche that commented on my Stella piece “sounds like your potential partner got wind of the fact you saw him as semi autonomous self propelled sperm delivery system” which, for the record, is total bollocks. Anyway…)  And, for various reasons, it’s a topic that seems to have been in the news a lot recently.

The Daily Mail had a story about three women who did exactly that and, unsurprisingly Continue reading