In a year’s time…

Given that it’s now over a year since my first cycle, and I knew that I had to pay an annual fee for storage of my eggs, I’d started to worry that I hadn’t heard from the clinic. Maybe they’d tried to contact me and I’d missed their calls/deleted their emails/not received their letters… Maybe they’d thrown away my eggs… Obviously, I didn’t worry so much that I actually got in touch with them, because Continue reading

Do I even want a baby?

It’s days like Saturday that I wonder how much I really want a child. I slept until after 10am because I hadn’t set an alarm because I didn’t have to get up for anything. I spent nearly two hours in the bath watching TV on my iPad because there was nothing else I really needed to do. Last weekend, I went away with some friends. I didn’t have to tell anyone, or arrange anything, or worry about whether I should be spending the money on something else, or saving it.

I don’t take any of these things for granted. How could I? When I’m surrounded by parents who I know will Continue reading

Feeling VERY single (but not alone)

I’ve not written for a while because I haven’t really had much to say. But there are a few things that sort of made me think I should put pen to paper, finger to keyboard, word to screen.

The first was my monumentally unsuccessful dating life. I online date, I have done for years. I do a job where I’m unlikely to meet a wealth of single straight men, so it makes sense to me to look online. I met S online. I hardly know anyone who is single who isn’t online dating.

But there definitely seems to be a wrong side of 35. And I’m definitely on it. It wasn’t like this a few years back when I was doing it – I had more dates Continue reading

Solo motherhood

I think I’ve touched on this briefly before but, for fairly obvious reasons (ie. I’m still single) it’s something I’ve been thinking about more and more – the idea of attempting to have a child on my own should a suitable candidate not present themselves (and before you get all antsy, and accuse me of “interviewing sperm donors” rather than “dating potential boyfriends”, chill the fuck out, it’s a turn of phrase) (sorry, I might be a bit touchy about this because of the douche that commented on my Stella piece “sounds like your potential partner got wind of the fact you saw him as semi autonomous self propelled sperm delivery system” which, for the record, is total bollocks. Anyway…)  And, for various reasons, it’s a topic that seems to have been in the news a lot recently.

The Daily Mail had a story about three women who did exactly that and, unsurprisingly Continue reading