Tired…

Allow me a small diversion from the whole egg / baby thing — although it is kind of related…

I’ve spoken before about how I really resent arbitrary divisions being made between people — and particularly between women — defining individuals as single or part of a couple, pitting mothers against non-mothers and so on. And, with respect to the latter, one of the things I have real beef with is the idea that “until you’re a mum you have no idea what X means” where X is equal to “love”, “exhaustion”, “worry”, “fear” etc etc. Ultimately I think it’s hugely insulting to anyone to undermine their emotion by telling them that because they’re not a parent, there’s no value in what they feel.

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Self-pitying wallow…

I don’t usually do this but someone who reads this blog emailed me the other day and said:

Hope you’re ok. You always sound really UP and high-kicking your way through life, but I never know.

And it got me thinking that this blog was meant to be about honesty, and was meant to be about “what it’s really like to freeze your eggs” and what it’s really like is not high kicks and being up the whole time. Even when the egg-freezing bit is over. The truth is that yes, I do have my shit together most of the time, because frankly what other alternative is there? But, just like anyone else, I have days, weeks, where I just want to crawl into my bed and cry about how unfair life is. And most of the time I don’t write about that sort of thing – I don’t think it’s particularly helpful, or informative. But maybe I’m wrong. Maybe sometimes reading that someone is Continue reading

It

They say it’s just around the corner. But I’ve walked around the block so many times, and turned so many corners, I can’t even begin to imagine that there’s a corner left that I haven’t looked around. Even the corners that led to dark alleys that I didn’t think I wanted to go down, I went round them anyway. Just in case. But it wasn’t there. And the corners that I thought led to dead ends? I checked them too. I’ve turned corners, Continue reading