Permission to procrastinate…

So I wrote about the fact that I was going back to the clinic on a bit of a fact-finding mission. And that’s exactly what I did. I’d made a point of booking to see the consultant that I’d really liked when I was freezing my eggs. I didn’t just trust her from a medical perspective, but from an emotional one. (She’s the one that I cried on in all of my first three consultations.) I felt like she totally understood my reasons for freezing my eggs, and she was really positive about what I was doing.

And, when I saw her, I felt totally vindicated — for a number of reasons. I explained why I was there, that I wanted to see where things were at, and then make a decision on what I wanted to do. I basically wanted her to tell me whether I needed to make a decision there and then, or could put it off for a little longer.

Now, the clinic had insisted on booking me in for a scan (best part of £200) and a protocol consultation (best part of £200) and I was pretty sure I’d need a blood test to test for levels of AMH, (Anti-Mullerian Hormone, a good indicator of what your ovarian reserve and thus fertility is like) which would be another £100. But after I’d explained why I was there, she immediately said to me “Well we don’t need to do a consultation today. Let’s do a scan, get your AMH levels tested and then if you need to pay for a consultation to discuss the protocol but we don’t need to do that now.”

It was such a small thing. But it made me feel that someone wasn’t taking me – and my wallet – for granted,  and that was really important. Yeah, yeah, blah, blah, I can hear you thinking “Cut. To. The. Chase. What happened?”

So what happened was this: my scan looked normal and healthy; the bloodflow to my uterus and ovaries looked good — although slightly weaker on the left hand side than the right but nothing concerning; there were eight follicles on the right hand side and five on the left; basically everything looked pretty much how it had done a few years back with no sign of endometriosis, or fibroids, or anything untoward.

I had my AMH levels tested, and this is the email my consultant sent after she got the results:

As you can see AMH is 12.1 pmol/L while in 2013 was 11.8 pmol/L.
So it is exactly the same. I am very satisfied as this didn’t decline so you can wait a little bit taking any decision regarding next steps.

I’m delighted – of course I am, this is brilliant news. It’s news that gives me permission to procrastinate, news that means I don’t have to rush into trying to get pregnant on my own, news that means that there’s still a chance — however slim, that my hypothetical child might have a father around from birth.

 

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2 thoughts on “Permission to procrastinate…

  1. Really pleased I’ve found your blog!
    I made the decision(after a pretty crappy breakup) earlier this year to freeze my eggs. It was a very emotional time and I felt very alone in the world of fertility, where I assumed everyone at the clinic had the support of a partner, so I decided to start write a blog to tell my story. Hopefully it will help others so they know they’re not alone.
    It’d be great if you’d read my story so far…..very early days!

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