Egg-freezing research…

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Quick post – and bit of a different one from usual – but… last month I received this email from someone called Abbie-Louise, she said…

I am currently at the University of Cambridge studying Human, Social and Political Sciences and as part of my dissertation and a project financed by Baillie Gifford Investment Bank, I am looking into the ethical, business and social implications of egg freezing. After a great deal of research I have come to realise the many positives of egg freezing – a process which I believe empowers women by allowing them to take control of their reproductive autonomy. I was particularly inspired by your post which reads: “egg freezing was a way of feeling like I was taking charge of my future, rather than just waiting for my future to happen to me.”

As part of my project I look to compare attitudes of women in England and in the US with regards to egg freezing – I will travel to California this summer to undertake this. If there is any way we could have a chat about your experiences/ blog (via skype/ email/ I could meet you in London – or wherever is convenient) then I would be so grateful.

Now I am all about the evidence, and all about talking about egg freezing so OBVIOUSLY we had a chat, and I was totally impressed by Abbie-Louise, by her questions, and insight and asked her to stay in touch.

She got back from California Continue reading →

What am I waiting for?

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So I’ve sort of mentioned to a few people that I’m thinking that my birthday next year might be the point at which I accept that maybe, after all, I’m not going to go down the conventional route of meeting someone and having children with them. And that maybe, despite my myriad concerns about going it alone, I might have to resign myself to the fact that if I really want a shot at this motherhood lark – which let’s be honest, I’ve had my doubts about –  I might just have to find myself a donor, and, as Nike might have said, “just fucking do it” – ironically, of course, without Continue reading →

Where are all the childless women?

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Just a quick one BUT… over the past few weeks I’ve been seeing a lot in the papers that references the fact that for women of my generation, having children isn’t necessarily a given – and far more so than in any previous generation. In a piece in The Times (talking about politicians and parenting – it’s very good, do read it), Janice Turner said:

Liz Kendall is no outlier. Of women like her, born in the 1970s, one in four will not have children.

That’s me. A woman. Born in the 1970s. One in four of us won’t have children.

And in another piece, this time in the New Statesman, Continue reading →

The Daily Mail and donor sperm. It’s all just clickbait. BUT…

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Let’s get one thing straight, you don’t become the second biggest selling newspaper in England and the most-read news site in the world by publishing stuff that everyone agrees with. You do it by publishing stuff with provocative headlines that make people angry, or upset, or want to voice an opinion. I know how this works. You know how this works, but that doesn’t stop us from having those reactions – it’s a gut reaction.

So even though I know all that, I couldn’t help but feel a bit “oh fuck”ish when I read the headline:

“How would YOU feel to find you are a sperm donor’s child? These women say it shattered their lives” on the Daily Mail website today.

Because although I know that the Daily Mail Continue reading →

Can you really “own” an embryo?

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So, you may have heard about what’s happening in the States at the moment with Sofia Vergara — she’s an actress from Modern Family — and her ex, a guy called Nick Loeb. Basically, as far as I can work out, in 2013, they had IVF, and created two embryos which they planned to implant in a surrogate, but subsequently froze. The couple split up and, despite having signed something that said that the embryos could only be used if both of them agreed to it, he’s now trying to bring a legal case against her so that he can use the embryos. She doesn’t want him to.

When people first started talking about this, I was contacted by the Telegraph Continue reading →

Perspective – and weather

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Perspective – like hindsight – is a wonderful thing. I’m frequently lacking in it. But then I rather think that we all are. It’s just very easy to get so wrapped up in our own worlds and our own worries, and our own mini dramas that we can’t see anything but that. And I am abso-fucking-lutely not recommending a hierarchy of misery where you make yourself feel like shit because not only have you been dumped or not managed to get pregnant, but you feel like you shouldn’t Continue reading →

Mothers vs Non-mothers

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It’s Easter, so given my penchant for puns, I should probably post something eggciting. But since I have pretty low levels of egg chat at the moment — ummm, they’re still frozen… — I thought maybe I’d write about motherhood and a few things that have caught my eye recently.

Firstly, we’ve all got the Facebook friends who sort of ended up there a bit by accident — The New Yorker was quite funny on this recently — actually maybe that’s a little unfair (as much as anything because a) I refuse to accept friend requests from people who were bitches Continue reading →

In a year’s time…

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Given that it’s now over a year since my first cycle, and I knew that I had to pay an annual fee for storage of my eggs, I’d started to worry that I hadn’t heard from the clinic. Maybe they’d tried to contact me and I’d missed their calls/deleted their emails/not received their letters… Maybe they’d thrown away my eggs… Obviously, I didn’t worry so much that I actually got in touch with them, because Continue reading →

Just do it (or don’t)

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When I wrote about not being sure if I even wanted kids (which I totally accept seems a totally out of context post for a blog devoted to freezing eggs, although as egg freezing is about choice, I could probably argue that it’s fine to choose not to do something rather than to do something) I did start to wonder if I’d just spent too long thinking about the whole thing.

Which is ironic. Because when I was in a relationship Continue reading →

It

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They say it’s just around the corner. But I’ve walked around the block so many times, and turned so many corners, I can’t even begin to imagine that there’s a corner left that I haven’t looked around. Even the corners that led to dark alleys that I didn’t think I wanted to go down, I went round them anyway. Just in case. But it wasn’t there. And the corners that I thought led to dead ends? I checked them too. I’ve turned corners, Continue reading →